Death to Candy

I Love Halloween! I love getting dressed up and taking the kids out for fun and the haunted houses and the ghosst and goblins and everything!! it is just great I LOVE IT!! This was my kids first Halloween being what I like to call 'candy aware.' Previous to this year they haven't really cared about candy we would go to grandmas have a packet of skittles and then go to the park event or something. But this year we went trick or treating. They put on their costumes and we put on ours (we ended up being the pirates from hook and we had soo much fun, and Leona was tinker bell) and loaded up the car and headed to the Village for some trick or treating. The kids had a great time going to each door and getting candy and they even saw some of their friends and enjoyed it. kegs saved all his candy and didn't eat any of it on the walk but Leo couldn't wait and ate a few pieces right through the wrapper before making daddy carry her on his shoulders the rest of the night. After we did about 2 blocks we went to dinner and then headed home. by the time we were home everyone was tired and we left the candy in the back of the car a went to bed.

I love Halloween but the day after....oh my god what an evil day.
Before i got up my beautiful children had snuck out of their beds grabed my keys and got ALL the candy out of the car and ate it before I pulled my butt out of bed. What happened afterwards...all that I have to say is; the person who said that sugar doesn't effect kids is a GODDAMN LIAR! Let me break my day down for you:

7:30 am
The sounds of hysterical laughter and crumpling wrappers finally penetrate my dream of a friends boyfriend (Joey) walking around in an orange jumpsuit and the wierdest huge gun ever defending weak kids from bullies. i am not sure wich was more surreal my childrens huge eyes looking up at me from the center of my use to be tidy living room which is no covered with candy wrappers or Joey being threatening. (no more robocop for me. Which by the way good golly those are truly bad movies but they have really given me interesting dreams.) My children have eaten every piece of candy that was in thier bags and suprisingly hadn't fought over any of it, probably because they knew it would wake me up. Some pieces Leo couldn't figure out how to open, so she had bitten through it wrapper and all...poor tootsie rolls.

8:00 Leona changes out of her jammies into outfit #1. Then takes it off as soon as they went outside to ride bikes...in circles.

9:15 Children run around the house in circles

9:45 the children begein speaking in tongues

10:05 children demand a bath by rolling in dirt and jumping up and down chanting Bath Bath Bath

10:22 children finish their bath when mom walks into bathroom and finds half the water on the floor.

10:25 children put on underware and get behind the piano somehow and find thier fathers swords while I am cleaning the flood in the bathroom.

10:35 As i walk through the living room to put the towels in the wash i see out of the corner of my eye my son , holding a samari sword that is one and a half of him jump off the armrest and implae my couch with the sword.

After this everthing blurs into a mush of screaming but here are the highlights.

While Keagan and I are talking in his room about swords and why he will be in time out until he is thirty, Leona got into her organic $8 a pop lotion and squirted it all over my hardwood floors.

While Leona and I are in her room talking about lotion and why she will be grounded until she is thirty Keagan crumples up ALL my printer paper and pretends it is snow.

The children demanded pasta for lunch and then threw it on my walls then Leo dumped out the rest of the bottle of sauce and proceeded to draw with it on the floor while I was cleaning up the dinning room with Keagan. While I am cleaning up the kitchen without leona, she helped by taking off her clothes (outfit #3) and putting them in the hamper with the whites, Leona goes into the living room and lets all the crickets out of thier cage.

Keagan tries to help us catch them by pouring all the cricket food into his candy bag and spreading around the living room like chicken feed...and it sticks to the lotion i forgot to clean up. I let Mu the Dragon out of her tank and tellher to eat every cricket i can't catch and she looks at me like, 'I don't hunt sorry. Food comes from tube in sky, dumbass'

I catch all the crickets...i think... and load the kids into the car to go get milk and do a nap lap to put the girly to sleep.